I have just entered into the 4th year of my 20s. It’s pretty crazy to think about what God has led me through (with or without my realizing it).
How I struggled between flesh and spirit at 20..
How God miraculously brought me back to Him and pampered me with gifts at 21..
How He untaught me, taught me, broke me, and healed me at 22..
I’m beginning my 23rd year and though I believe the theme of this year is trust, I don’t think I’ll know what that truly means until much later.
Something I noticed today is not really something I can fit into something I learned from any book or teaching specifically.. But it’s something I hope my kids will realize sooner rather than later.
Time with our parents as adults is a blessing. My parents are so cute. They tend to repeat things but I realize that I’m so blessed to have them here to repeat things that mean much to them. As they share with me their thoughts, they’re telling me they love me and cherish my presence and want to share their life with me. I am blessed :)
The first rain
I have been going through probably the longest period of a “dry season” in the last two months. And I believe I am stepping out of that season for the first time and am seeing what God has been showing me for the last two months :)
I was taught growing up that these seasons come because I am not doing devos enough, worshipping enough, etc. enough. Basically, I’m not being a “good enough” Christian.
At first, I thought I had sins I didn’t remember to confess. I wasn’t willing to listen to God. I wasn’t praying enough. And I realized how much I was depending on my own efforts in this relationship. When clearly God has already told me that His yoke is easy and burden light.
I’m learning through seminary that God is often closer than we think during these seasons. I had a hard time understanding this at first. It made sense in my head but my heart still believed that I need to do something to get closer to God.
What I learned through this dry season was that God takes away what routines, disciplines, etc. we are used to using to come before Him to remind us once again that it is Him who holds us together. We didn’t come to know God at the beginning through any of theses things and it is not through these things that will keep us with Him.
We are called to have faith and believe. Putting our trust in Him. These things sound logical to Christians but many of out hearts are not at a place where it truly believes, trusts, and surrenders.
If you’re going through a dry season, don’t let people or yourself make you feel guilty/ashamed. Be honest with God about what you’re going through and ask Him/allow Him into the deepest parts of You to show you what needs to be changed. It often doesn’t begin with a change in mindset but begins with a change of heart. :)
God be with You
Mission in life
God loves me. So I am called to love others.
God sacrificed everything for me. So I am called to sacrifice everything for other people.
It’s simple, but definitely not easy.
Silence is a funny thing. It can really reveal the relationship between two people
Silence between two people on their first date and silence between a couple with years of conversations sitting next to each other at a park is not the same.
Silence with God during our first encounters may make us feel uneasy and a little boring (making us nod off to sleep or think about random things). But silence with God after going through years of trials, victories, pain, and healing is very…different. It is enjoyable, precious, relaxing, and something I look forward to more and more. :)
"In the secret, in the quiet place. In the stillness, You are there."
Hi, my name is Laura.
I am many things.
I sometimes identify more with Chinese people, and at other times identify more with Koreans, and at times identify as an American
I am a girl who is considered petite and short in stature.
I am some people’s boss and I am some people’s employee.
I am a teacher and a student.
I am sometimes kind and sometimes nasty.
I am shy in certain circumstances and bold in others.
I am very logical and also very emotional.
I have great self control in certain areas in life and almost no control in others.
The list can go on and on and on and it’s almost impossible to describe any area of my life with a word without another contradicting that word completely in another area of life.
But there is one description of me which gives meaning to my life every morning when I wake up — I am a child of God. Yes GOD Himself. I have been adopted into His family now and forever through the blood of His only Son and have full inheritance to everything God the Father has :)
Regardless of who I am and how people view me, He loves me for who I am right here right now.
Would you like to be a part of this family? :)
Tears of Sadness to Joy and Gladness
God has been doing AMAZING things in me. I…don’t know how to explain it because to be honest, I don’t know what He did. All I know is the closer I got to Him, the more I realized the hurts and pain I still have in my life from events way back when to as recent as a couple weeks ago.
Usual response: know that God loves me, forgive others, and move on.
Response this time: I have really been learning to be honest with God through seminary. And that meant no more hiding or running away when I felt pain/shame/guilt/anger. Allowing myself to feel things that came naturally from circumstances terrified me. This is probably why I usually ran — because it has always felt terrifying to face the problem.. so though I didn’t run away from God, I hid from people. But slowly, through finding safety in God, I found strength to open up to my closer friends. I experienced God’s love through one on one time with Him and also through others (friends, family, counselors).
There is so much that has gone on in the last month it’d take me forever to write. But all in all, I must give praise to Him because that’s all I have to give for what He has been doing, is doing, and will continue to do in my life. :)
THANK YOU JESUS!!!! :D
Yesterday was probably the craziest day for me at ALIFE. I opened up to LiT about my past and felt acceptance. I don’t think I can and ever will part from it now. :)
Love is not really love when it’s only one way. I can “love” ALIFE as much as I try. But without allowing them to know the true me and love me, the relationship is incomplete. :)
Today, I found strength (tho it was hard) to hang out for the first time in awhile with a group of people. Was definitely more draining than I had hoped. But so good. I was a happy panda on the way home from bowling and watching Thor.
I have joy, sorrow, happiness, confusion all at the same time lol…